Well, hello world indeed.

The more I think about the experience of owning a puppy, the more anxious I get. However, the feeling of having a little furry companion is quite exciting. The reasons that have pushed me to considering this seriously are simple: companionship while working from home, a lesson in discipline and responsibility, and the overwhelming adoration I've developed for dogs in the recent years.

I live alone. I now work from home. I love taking walks and going to parks, and, I really like dogs.

On the other, less-admired hand: I'm always out doing something; I'm rarely home after work-time until bedtime on most days of the week (except on Wednesdays when I stay home and catch up on my TV shows). I have hard-wood floors. I have people over often that are not too fond of dogs. And, most importantly, I have been out of town for at least 1 week out of every month on average - I have a boyfriend who moved 800 miles away end of 2008, and we have a very serious long distance relationship.

Is that an oxymoron?

Today I talked to him about how the dog might scratch up my hardwood floors. He mentioned that is a possibility and I shouldn't worry about it - when I sell the house, I might have to get the floors redone anyway. I also spent my evening having dinner with friends who are dead against the idea - just one of their very convincing reasons: the hardwood floors. Here I mentioned it to T after dinner over a brief conversation he sleepily mumbled through, and I hear the same old - don't worry about that. In a way, it's good that he can brush off my little worries, but I wonder what it might be like if he did consider it from my standpoint. I bought this house with the conviction that once he graduated, he would be staying in Atlanta (have I mentioned serious relationship?), which, he whole-heartedly assured me of every time I had the slightest hesitation. Well, I did push him to take that other, better, job. I just don't want this situation to be one of those "should-a, could-a".

Having said that, once I get the puppy, he will become part of my family. I will not let myself wonder about what could have been, should have been - not fair to me, T, or the puppy. So, I need to make a decision soon. I see the puppy on Saturday. I need to make a decision soon so that I don't let myself fall in love. I need to tell myself that I will be able to somehow maintain this long-distance relationship that is so very dependent on T's and my frequent trips to see each other, without being able to go that often, or for that long. I need to be convinced that he will understand. Puppy will not come before T, but puppy's well being will come before luxuries. My goodness, puppy is not euphemism for baby.

For what it's worth, I'm not comfortable leaving the dog with a friend for a week out of every 2 months. There's no point getting a pet and thrust that responsibility onto someone else's shoulders. Might as well just baby-sit theirs once in a while.

I wish I had a dog who could take my mind off all of this :)